Well then, I was planning on writing this post earlier with the fresh memories still looming, but then I realized that the room was spinning and I couldn't function properly. So i did the only respectable thing, went back to sleep for like 3 hours and now I feel great. So thus with no further ado I shall commence....
I've been hanging out with work people a lot recently. It's actually pretty cool because everyone is in their twenties so they're all pretty fun to work with. Don't take this the wrong way, and knowing me you shouldn't because I'm not a cocky person, but around the office I've got quite the reputation. I remember my first week everyone was overly excited about me, including my boss, and were all like "You're going to kill it" etc. Even people from other offices were talking about me and this other new kid Lucas. We were on a business trip in Southern Maryland, ran into some chicks from another office and the first thing they say is "Oh you are those two guys we keep hearing about?" Needless to say I initially had no idea what they meant but following my promotion into leadership I learned that pretty much every morning they talk about the new people in the office. To get back on point, this excitement about me carried outside of work as well. I don't really remember but I guess the first time I went out with anyone from the Office, I had a couple of girls talking to me and everyone assumed I was like a girl whisperer or something. Literally anytime someone from the office see's me out, they're like "Stev we hear that you do work" or Stev where are all the girls at, or Stev bring 2 brunettes with you when you come over tonight. Like I said I'm not trying to talk myself up here, it's just the way things are.
At first I was thrown off by this. I mean it's a lot of pressure to be consistent in the office but to be consistent galfing is even tougher. We all know it's a numbers game, I mean it's not called the theory of averages its called the LAW of averages. So naturally if someone see's me out One night of the weekend, the chances of me actually pulling a girl/hooking up with her are pretty slim...luckily last night was one of those occasions. But more importantly I realized that it wasn't necessarily about me getting girls, but everyone assumed I was great at getting the attention of girls, meaning I could just walk up to a group, take over the conversation, and basically get them involved with the people I was hanging out with...that part of it is pretty true.
Taking all this in, I came up with two goals for last night. My first goal was to remember the name of every person I met that night. FAIL. I am notoriously bad at this in general, so of course that is multiplied when I'm drunk. I did manage to kinda remember the girl from the evening though, well at least I know her last name, I'm foggy on the first name. My second goal was to pretty much live up to the expectations that everyone had for me. This goal was a success. Pretty much what I would do is anytime I was with one of the guys from the office I would ask them to pick out a girl they thought was cute, right after they pointed to one I would go up to her and bring her over. This is actually easier than one would seem, all you have to do is either tell them flat out why you're there (works more often then not) or ice break first, and then tell them exactly why you're there. I don't know if people thing I have some kind of "Secret pick-up line" but honestly its just general conversation that does the trick. Oh and for any who don't know this, all the conversation is centered around the person I'm talking to, I never talk about myself unless they ask. This is like a given, but just so everyone knows you should stick to this and you will at least have a cordial conversation even in rejection.
So yeah after a couple hours of doing this and making everyone even happier about me, our group split up and we headed to different bars. As I tend to notice what happens is that when people start drinking earlier in the night, like 7 or 8, they usually don't last to last call. I mean we're all working people who are used to waking up early and going to bed early, so hitting the sack at midnight after a few hours of drinking seems respectable. In any case this is what happened both last night and Friday night. While the group started to dwindle I found myself alone more often then not, as the couples of the group paired off. Now for some reason I wasn't tired yet, so I hung around the bar until last call. I saw this cute girl (well she was cute but what I really saw was her low cut shirt) sitting at the bar with like 4 guys around her. Now these guys were giving her some attention, but not the I'm trying to pick you up attention. This made me think that she was either a relative or a really good friend, and that she was available (meaning no boyfriend in that group). Moral of the story she was available, a sister of one of the guys, and visiting from somewhere in Pennsylvania. At this point the bouncers start to kick everyone out and she invites me back to their place to keep partying. She does take care to let me know that I will NOT be sleeping over, but then says that it's because its not her house and she was spending the night in her Brother's room. Now I have been in that kind of situation before, and usually when the owner of the bed returns he is NOT happy about some guy sleeping in his room, much less with her sister. So I agreed, and they actually lived a couple blocks to where my co-workers lived. fast forward through a game of kings and we were saying "hello" while cooking ramen. I'm guessing that everyone in the house had a sense for us wanting some alone time, because they literally all Ninja's out the house to "smoke" even though only one of them actually smoked. At this point we moved to one of the couches, only separating from each other to make sure the Ramen didn't burn. After awhile of hooking up and things getting a little intense for her (basically the way i hook up with people is to let it build. Start slowly with kissing, then work on full body contact, then I get to using my hands, tongue, and then of course intercourse, almost always in that order). Some girls are REALLY responsive to "hands" as was the case last night. Usually with this type they don't even want to play the whole foreplay game, and after the hands stage they want to go straight for the show. So once we were playing the hand game for awhile, she couldn't take it anymore and we stopped. She explained that she wanted to have sex really bad, but there was no where for us to go as the roommies could come back in at any time. I said I understood and we went back to kissing for awhile before I left. As I walk out of the house I am greeted by the roommates who are surprised to see my leave. I guess they were all prepared to give us as much time as we needed, which made me smile. Def some cool people to give us alone time like that.
Something neat that I learned last night is that you can purchase liquor at 3 am ha. Basically we went into a bar that was closing, and they sold us some six packs/12 packs of beer. I don't know if this is common practice but I thought it was really cool.
So no 49 yet, but dangerously close.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Happy Birthday...You're 19?!!?
First of all I would like to apologize for anyone who consistently reads my blog for not posting in awhile. I've been acting like a bratty girlfriend and doing the whole "well if you're not posting then I won't post" thing. I realize that my lazy roommates need me to lead by example and constantly update in order to inspire them to post more than once a month. With that being said, Here goes.
Second of all, but most importantly, I will not be taking my talents to AA for the first weekend of August. Short Story, I have a work trip that I won't be back from until Friday night. Flights to Mich just for that Saturday are currently 350, as much as I love you guys I'm not spending 350 just on a flight for one night. So that means we just have to push the date back to pretty much any other weekend.
Now that housekeeping is out of the way I can tell you guys a little bit about what I've been up to...and like the marauder map saying I've been "up to no good." Pretty much I've been working hard and playing hard. Thats my new philosophy to life. Work has been going great, I'm now starting to get a hang of this Sales thing and I've been doing pretty well for myself. This past week alone we've had an influx of very attractive girls entering the office. All this means is that well I've been a little bit distracted. I've been playing it slow, just because you can't really say "Hello" in the middle of the office, well I guess you could but it really wouldn't be professional. Two of the girls are interns, which means that they are getting ready to head back to school soon. So my mission, if I choose to accept it, is to get "close" to these interns before they head back to school. If you guys have ever seen me pick up girls outside of the bar, then you know I play the flirt from a distance game. Usually that means a facebook post here and there, a funny text message, or a laugh over a drink. Pretty much I build my Brand until I'm ready to go in for the kill. So specifically there is this one girl Kristen who is just about ready. What I mean by that is that she's just about ready for me to make my real move. A little about her, she is pretty much my typical college type. Big Boobs. Yeah that's about all I cared about for awhile in school. She's a cute girl don't get me wrong, but no matter what she wears all I can focus on is her boobs. We played kick ball the other day, and I purposely stood next to her in the outfield just to watch them bounce. Kinda creepy, yes, but it wouldn't be me if it wasn't creepy. I usually say that I don't like younger girls, and for the most part that's true. I mean I would never date someone who is less mature than me, did that before and it never works out. So in this case hooking up with someone I've decided that I really don't need to follow my standards. Now I've never really been a cradle robber, well until now. Kristen just had her 19th birthday on Thursday. Yes I said 19th birthday. That is a little over 6 months older than my younger brother. That is a girl going into her sophomore year of college. That is someone who is "barely legal." For those who like movie quotes " Thats the thing about high school girls, no matter how old I get, they stay the same age" or something like that, I'm really bad at movie quotes but you get the idea. So my first post back was to inform you guys that I have now officially lowered my standards, or lets be cool and say "Redefined" Of course when the day of infamy arrives I will tell you all about it.
In the mean time I recommend transformers 3, harry potter part 2 (don't expect it to be anywhere near as good as the book) and then captain america for anyone who's looking to see a good movie.
I will talk about this weekend as soon as I do something interesting.
Second of all, but most importantly, I will not be taking my talents to AA for the first weekend of August. Short Story, I have a work trip that I won't be back from until Friday night. Flights to Mich just for that Saturday are currently 350, as much as I love you guys I'm not spending 350 just on a flight for one night. So that means we just have to push the date back to pretty much any other weekend.
Now that housekeeping is out of the way I can tell you guys a little bit about what I've been up to...and like the marauder map saying I've been "up to no good." Pretty much I've been working hard and playing hard. Thats my new philosophy to life. Work has been going great, I'm now starting to get a hang of this Sales thing and I've been doing pretty well for myself. This past week alone we've had an influx of very attractive girls entering the office. All this means is that well I've been a little bit distracted. I've been playing it slow, just because you can't really say "Hello" in the middle of the office, well I guess you could but it really wouldn't be professional. Two of the girls are interns, which means that they are getting ready to head back to school soon. So my mission, if I choose to accept it, is to get "close" to these interns before they head back to school. If you guys have ever seen me pick up girls outside of the bar, then you know I play the flirt from a distance game. Usually that means a facebook post here and there, a funny text message, or a laugh over a drink. Pretty much I build my Brand until I'm ready to go in for the kill. So specifically there is this one girl Kristen who is just about ready. What I mean by that is that she's just about ready for me to make my real move. A little about her, she is pretty much my typical college type. Big Boobs. Yeah that's about all I cared about for awhile in school. She's a cute girl don't get me wrong, but no matter what she wears all I can focus on is her boobs. We played kick ball the other day, and I purposely stood next to her in the outfield just to watch them bounce. Kinda creepy, yes, but it wouldn't be me if it wasn't creepy. I usually say that I don't like younger girls, and for the most part that's true. I mean I would never date someone who is less mature than me, did that before and it never works out. So in this case hooking up with someone I've decided that I really don't need to follow my standards. Now I've never really been a cradle robber, well until now. Kristen just had her 19th birthday on Thursday. Yes I said 19th birthday. That is a little over 6 months older than my younger brother. That is a girl going into her sophomore year of college. That is someone who is "barely legal." For those who like movie quotes " Thats the thing about high school girls, no matter how old I get, they stay the same age" or something like that, I'm really bad at movie quotes but you get the idea. So my first post back was to inform you guys that I have now officially lowered my standards, or lets be cool and say "Redefined" Of course when the day of infamy arrives I will tell you all about it.
In the mean time I recommend transformers 3, harry potter part 2 (don't expect it to be anywhere near as good as the book) and then captain america for anyone who's looking to see a good movie.
I will talk about this weekend as soon as I do something interesting.
Monday, July 4, 2011
"But You're Stann's Little Brother!"
Needless to say, a very good weekend, anytime you have a half day on Friday and then a day off on Monday how can you complain.
To get to the specifics, Friday I went downtown, Saturday I went to Hooters, Sunday I went to a lake, and Today I get to chill all day by myself...perfect.
Friday night wasn't anything special. I mean it was fun, but nothing special. Jerry had some of his Jersey boys come down to join us and so we went downtown and hung out. The group of people we went with aren't my typical go out on the dance floor and do work group of guys, so the night was more chill, which was good for me because I usually get tired on Friday nights. Only real highlight of the night was the high fives I was getting from random guys for knowing the group of girls dancing on the stage at the bar. They were actually Kerry and her friends but they were ALL cute, really cute. I even got a free drink for introducing this guy to one of them ha. It was cool "knowing" people at the bar again, even got us drink specials all night...I need to do some more networking so I can do that more often.
Saturday was our planned all day drinking and bbq day. So pretty much I showed up at Jerry's house at 11, blasted Stereo Love and made everyone get up and start drinking. And I showed up with a 30 and a fifth...I meant business. Throughout the day I invited various people over and it was an overall success. The title quote comes from a girl who did not go on to become 49, not yet at least. Pretty much she was a girl that Stann had hung out with in the past, and I guess knowing that he was a player she wasn't giving him any. For some reason she decided that I was more worth her time, that and I am pretty good at seducing people. In fact she even took the time to tell me mid hook up "You've already gotten further then he ever did" this is while I was fingering her. I swear I dunno why she would say that, is that supposed to turn me on or something? Sometimes girls are strange creatures indeed....Oh and for those of you who have never done it, hooking up mid-day while at a party is a good time. I just grabbed her, took her to the basement, threw her on the couch and then went to work. She went from being hesitant to, well not holding anything back ha ha. The best part about day hooking up is that you can go right back to the party and keep drinking. As a guy, if people know or guess what you've been doing you are greeted with smiles and high fives, so it was a walk of fame back into the party not our usual college walk of shame. After a couple more hours of drinking we went to our high school to shoot fireworks...yes that was a bad idea. And these were FOR REAL fireworks, like the kind that go into the sky and explode into different colors and what not, pretty sweet. The third to last firework misfired and destroyed the tube we were launching them from, which made for a pretty amazing display on the basketball court ha. Turns out the fireworks still do their whole explosion thing even when not a couple hundred feet in the air. Afterwards we decided to light the last two in a trashcan...also a bad idea...but also made for a very cool display. After our hardwork with the fireworks we decided to head to Hooters, which stays open to 1 am apparently. Half naked servers, $5 margaritas and wings, it was a win for all of us. Potential 49 then left so I called it a night.
Sunday morning I found myself driving to lake Sassafrass. Yup, not only does Maryland actually have lakes, but they have just as ridiculous names as the small ones in Michigan. There was no tubing or wake boarding for me this time, just floating coolers, circle of death with citrus Smirnoff, and PLENTY of beer. Laying out on the water was kinda nice, I see now why all you white friends like doing it so much, very relaxing. Unfortunately every girl there was literally wifed up already, so nothing exciting on that front to report, I did get to look at some nice eye candy though. As far as my sleeping situation for the night, I literally slept on the lake ha. I spent a good three hours in the night sleeping on a floating raft....yes i KNOW that was a bad idea, and the other three hours I slept in my car, which was surprisingly comfortable. If you're going to sleep in a car, don't go for the back seat, instead use the passenger seat fully reclined a very suitable place to sleep for a few hours.
Thats a good summary of the weekend, the average age of everyone I hung out with was 26 so that was a nice change from running into 18 year olds at Ricks ha.
If anyone is interested I'm about to start reading "How to win friends and Influence people" should be interesting and a book our boss wants us to ready "21 irrefutable laws of leadership"
Happy Fourth Everyone!
To get to the specifics, Friday I went downtown, Saturday I went to Hooters, Sunday I went to a lake, and Today I get to chill all day by myself...perfect.
Friday night wasn't anything special. I mean it was fun, but nothing special. Jerry had some of his Jersey boys come down to join us and so we went downtown and hung out. The group of people we went with aren't my typical go out on the dance floor and do work group of guys, so the night was more chill, which was good for me because I usually get tired on Friday nights. Only real highlight of the night was the high fives I was getting from random guys for knowing the group of girls dancing on the stage at the bar. They were actually Kerry and her friends but they were ALL cute, really cute. I even got a free drink for introducing this guy to one of them ha. It was cool "knowing" people at the bar again, even got us drink specials all night...I need to do some more networking so I can do that more often.
Saturday was our planned all day drinking and bbq day. So pretty much I showed up at Jerry's house at 11, blasted Stereo Love and made everyone get up and start drinking. And I showed up with a 30 and a fifth...I meant business. Throughout the day I invited various people over and it was an overall success. The title quote comes from a girl who did not go on to become 49, not yet at least. Pretty much she was a girl that Stann had hung out with in the past, and I guess knowing that he was a player she wasn't giving him any. For some reason she decided that I was more worth her time, that and I am pretty good at seducing people. In fact she even took the time to tell me mid hook up "You've already gotten further then he ever did" this is while I was fingering her. I swear I dunno why she would say that, is that supposed to turn me on or something? Sometimes girls are strange creatures indeed....Oh and for those of you who have never done it, hooking up mid-day while at a party is a good time. I just grabbed her, took her to the basement, threw her on the couch and then went to work. She went from being hesitant to, well not holding anything back ha ha. The best part about day hooking up is that you can go right back to the party and keep drinking. As a guy, if people know or guess what you've been doing you are greeted with smiles and high fives, so it was a walk of fame back into the party not our usual college walk of shame. After a couple more hours of drinking we went to our high school to shoot fireworks...yes that was a bad idea. And these were FOR REAL fireworks, like the kind that go into the sky and explode into different colors and what not, pretty sweet. The third to last firework misfired and destroyed the tube we were launching them from, which made for a pretty amazing display on the basketball court ha. Turns out the fireworks still do their whole explosion thing even when not a couple hundred feet in the air. Afterwards we decided to light the last two in a trashcan...also a bad idea...but also made for a very cool display. After our hardwork with the fireworks we decided to head to Hooters, which stays open to 1 am apparently. Half naked servers, $5 margaritas and wings, it was a win for all of us. Potential 49 then left so I called it a night.
Sunday morning I found myself driving to lake Sassafrass. Yup, not only does Maryland actually have lakes, but they have just as ridiculous names as the small ones in Michigan. There was no tubing or wake boarding for me this time, just floating coolers, circle of death with citrus Smirnoff, and PLENTY of beer. Laying out on the water was kinda nice, I see now why all you white friends like doing it so much, very relaxing. Unfortunately every girl there was literally wifed up already, so nothing exciting on that front to report, I did get to look at some nice eye candy though. As far as my sleeping situation for the night, I literally slept on the lake ha. I spent a good three hours in the night sleeping on a floating raft....yes i KNOW that was a bad idea, and the other three hours I slept in my car, which was surprisingly comfortable. If you're going to sleep in a car, don't go for the back seat, instead use the passenger seat fully reclined a very suitable place to sleep for a few hours.
Thats a good summary of the weekend, the average age of everyone I hung out with was 26 so that was a nice change from running into 18 year olds at Ricks ha.
If anyone is interested I'm about to start reading "How to win friends and Influence people" should be interesting and a book our boss wants us to ready "21 irrefutable laws of leadership"
Happy Fourth Everyone!
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