We all wear masks...
So it's clearly been awhile since my last post...not much has changed except now I am officially registered as a sub for Baltimore County Public Schools.
A couple of interesting events have taken place recently so that's going to be the subject of my post today. First of all Happy Halloween to everyone.
So this Halloween weekend started for me on Friday. Which is a little different than usual all week events in Ann Arbor but since it was my first Halloween outside of Michigan so I didn't really know what to expect and thus wasn't that bummed about making it a two night event. I didn't dress up on Friday...didn't really want to and since I'm lacking in my social network these days there is no real reason for me to go out hard or anything. I spent the evening with my big bro and his "friend" and we pregammed a bit, had some fun and went out to the bars. While at the bars we met up with some of her friends, all of which are of an older age, average like 28 yrs old ha. Either way I noticed that people of the professional world, meaning people in their career jobs already, still like to have a good time, they just do it in a different fashion. The easiest way for me to explain this is simply, take Friday night in a college town, Almost everyone is dressed up, and you see mainly if not all students out. Friday night for me was about 20 percent of people dressed up, and just as many 30+ people as there were 21-30 year olds out. Also, when you meet someone, hang out, dance(make out on the dance floor), and hang out with them back at their place.... doesn't mean that they're...dtf (for lack of a better term). In college, if you invest that kinda time in someone, and they agree to come back with you...its almost illegal to just spend your night cuddling.
So yeah that was Friday night...If anyone wants to know the exact story just ask me, but since I'm entering a different phase in my life...if for no other reason besides the fact that I'm not as exposed to the college frenzy as before...I decided that I should maybe filter my public displays of my life, but I by no means am Shy with sharing information for anyone willing to know.
Saturday night, the prime Halloween celebration night, was just OK. Before I knew it I found myself in a situation where everyone was wifed up, literally "girlfriends" that I had only heard of through title actually showed up and came out. What that meant for me, because 45 was out of town on a family vacation, meant that I was the odd man out in every situation. If you couple that with the fact that none of my buddies(the one or two I have in MD) were out with me...it made for a pretty laid back night. I'm a pretty sociable and outgoing person, but I refuse to go out to the bar by myself, or in the situation of last night, go out looking for company by myself. It's just one of those things that you do with friends or else you end up looking like a creeper/stalker type, and I prefer to be a private creeper/stalker rather than public. So moral of the story I was bored, even with all the half naked possible companions out there, without someone to share it with just seemed pointless to me. I guess I'm again changing in the sense that I don't always go out looking for lock something up.
Ah yeah I guess I thought I had more to say than I actually did, but the idea that as we get older our behaviors change without sacrificing the concept of fun is something that I am learning more about every day. A different kind of fun I guess we can call it. HOWEVER...this weekend I'm heading back to AA, so I guess we'll see if I really am a little different, or if I am just a product of my new environment.
Go Blue...Maybe we'll win one more game this season.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Flyer Than the Rest of Them
R.I.P. Wingmen
It might just be me, but the art of the wingman is dead.
If you don't know what I'm talking about then you are lucky. You might still be in a situation where you have a good friend or three that no matter what the situation is will always be by your side in this war. In the words of "MVP" they will be there to "entertain a grenade, or defuse a bomb." If you don't know what that means, then I feel sorry for you. It's no secret that in a lot of groups, there is a eh not so attractive person in your eyes and most of the time there aren't enough good looking people to make everyone happy. A brief sidebar: I honestly believe that there's someone in their world for everyone, every person has their own unique beauty and things about them that someone will love someday. But pretty much what I'm saying is that the world seems to be shifting to a place where everyman is for himself, the selfless acts of wingmen, which long went unappreciated, has now seemed to diminish to disturbing levels.
Sure, in my current situation I have no real need for a wingman, I mean I have a girl who likes me and she's the primary person I hang out with....BUT what happens when I want to have a guys night out. I mean everyone sex needs a ladies night or guys night, you can't possibly always spend all your time with a guy or girl and exclude the friends that are the glue to your social happiness. But at what point did guys night out lose its special code. You know that unwritten book of "guy rules" the first one that usually states "bros before hoes." I'll tell you where it went, right into the trash can next to that used condom and the wrapper it came out of. Almost every time I try to have a guy's night out, it turns into a 5 man royal rumble where every guy is just out there trying to get some for himself. I mean don't get me wrong, every guy is usually out there trying to get some, but it used to be that getting some didn't have to come at the expense of your friends. I mean more often than not, you would take one for the team to help a friend out. You didn't even really need to ask for a wingman, one of your buddies would see the opportunity and just jump right in the role. The next morning you would all have a laugh about it and everyone would applaud the lad or lads who thanks to the help of their wingman, was able to seal the deal, whatever the deal was.
I mean in today's world, and this isn't just with my friends, I've observed it would complete strangers, guys will abandon you for anything. Cute girl or not, you are never supposed to leave a man behind, much less stranded behind enemy lines.
Maybe with age the art of wingmanning just dies. I would like to think that is not so. In 1502 days we often split up at points in the night, but it usually wasn't until we were sure each member knew what they were doing, where they were going, and who was accompanying them. In this big city world I live in now, those things are even more important, most of the time we head into the city with only one car, and almost always the driver is one of the one's trying to get it in the most. What ends up happening you ask? Well more often than not, that driver gets it in, but abandons his boys who rolled with him.
I've been thinking about how this happens, and the result is simple, there just isn't a way to replace the priceless friends and wingmen of your past. I mean its more than just talking to a girl when your boy is talking to another, a true wingman knows the moves of his boy, knows how to read when he's going to act and what situation he's in. He knows when to spark group conversation or activities, or when to give his boy some alone time. These are things that come when people hang out a lot and are actually friends. Acquaintances make terrible wingmen, they just aren't cut out to be there when the going gets tough. Moral of the story, I'm going to miss the 1502 way of life. I mean every member had their own way of doing things sure, but as a unit we were unstoppable. Here is Baltimore, there is no true wingmen that i've seen. Maybe city life is just more tough with more competition so people are used to fighting for themselves. But whatever the case may be, I don't like it, not one bit.
So to all my friends of 1502, I miss you guys, for a million reasons, but most of all because we were a family. Despite the disputes or arguments or lack of cleaning, we understood each other, we were always there for each other, and that we won't find somewhere else easily. On the same note, I hope that you guys have people in your lives now that are true wingmen and women, because as I've discovered, I am lacking that.
Can't wait to the reunion times where we can all just mesh again and be merry while enjoying two eggs over medium, hash browns, sausage, and wheat toast. And Cassie with her 1/2 cafe 1/2 coco.
To true Wingmen....Stay Thirsty....Stay Safe
It might just be me, but the art of the wingman is dead.
If you don't know what I'm talking about then you are lucky. You might still be in a situation where you have a good friend or three that no matter what the situation is will always be by your side in this war. In the words of "MVP" they will be there to "entertain a grenade, or defuse a bomb." If you don't know what that means, then I feel sorry for you. It's no secret that in a lot of groups, there is a eh not so attractive person in your eyes and most of the time there aren't enough good looking people to make everyone happy. A brief sidebar: I honestly believe that there's someone in their world for everyone, every person has their own unique beauty and things about them that someone will love someday. But pretty much what I'm saying is that the world seems to be shifting to a place where everyman is for himself, the selfless acts of wingmen, which long went unappreciated, has now seemed to diminish to disturbing levels.
Sure, in my current situation I have no real need for a wingman, I mean I have a girl who likes me and she's the primary person I hang out with....BUT what happens when I want to have a guys night out. I mean everyone sex needs a ladies night or guys night, you can't possibly always spend all your time with a guy or girl and exclude the friends that are the glue to your social happiness. But at what point did guys night out lose its special code. You know that unwritten book of "guy rules" the first one that usually states "bros before hoes." I'll tell you where it went, right into the trash can next to that used condom and the wrapper it came out of. Almost every time I try to have a guy's night out, it turns into a 5 man royal rumble where every guy is just out there trying to get some for himself. I mean don't get me wrong, every guy is usually out there trying to get some, but it used to be that getting some didn't have to come at the expense of your friends. I mean more often than not, you would take one for the team to help a friend out. You didn't even really need to ask for a wingman, one of your buddies would see the opportunity and just jump right in the role. The next morning you would all have a laugh about it and everyone would applaud the lad or lads who thanks to the help of their wingman, was able to seal the deal, whatever the deal was.
I mean in today's world, and this isn't just with my friends, I've observed it would complete strangers, guys will abandon you for anything. Cute girl or not, you are never supposed to leave a man behind, much less stranded behind enemy lines.
Maybe with age the art of wingmanning just dies. I would like to think that is not so. In 1502 days we often split up at points in the night, but it usually wasn't until we were sure each member knew what they were doing, where they were going, and who was accompanying them. In this big city world I live in now, those things are even more important, most of the time we head into the city with only one car, and almost always the driver is one of the one's trying to get it in the most. What ends up happening you ask? Well more often than not, that driver gets it in, but abandons his boys who rolled with him.
I've been thinking about how this happens, and the result is simple, there just isn't a way to replace the priceless friends and wingmen of your past. I mean its more than just talking to a girl when your boy is talking to another, a true wingman knows the moves of his boy, knows how to read when he's going to act and what situation he's in. He knows when to spark group conversation or activities, or when to give his boy some alone time. These are things that come when people hang out a lot and are actually friends. Acquaintances make terrible wingmen, they just aren't cut out to be there when the going gets tough. Moral of the story, I'm going to miss the 1502 way of life. I mean every member had their own way of doing things sure, but as a unit we were unstoppable. Here is Baltimore, there is no true wingmen that i've seen. Maybe city life is just more tough with more competition so people are used to fighting for themselves. But whatever the case may be, I don't like it, not one bit.
So to all my friends of 1502, I miss you guys, for a million reasons, but most of all because we were a family. Despite the disputes or arguments or lack of cleaning, we understood each other, we were always there for each other, and that we won't find somewhere else easily. On the same note, I hope that you guys have people in your lives now that are true wingmen and women, because as I've discovered, I am lacking that.
Can't wait to the reunion times where we can all just mesh again and be merry while enjoying two eggs over medium, hash browns, sausage, and wheat toast. And Cassie with her 1/2 cafe 1/2 coco.
To true Wingmen....Stay Thirsty....Stay Safe
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Blue Chips
I woke up today with 45 next to me, last night still on me, and to a basketball coaching movie called "Blue Chips" on the tv. Ha Pretty much a good morning. I have to admit, its still funny to think about me coaching basketball, and even funnier for people around me who know that I have almost no basketball experience and I really can't play to save my life. Yet knowing all this, I must say I have been very well received by the kids. So i started the preseason workouts, which at this point consist of a 1.5mile warm up run, various track workouts, various core workouts, various plyo workouts, and a game or two of 16point pick up at the end just for fun.
I thought it would be hard to get used to being called coach, but really its kinda nice. It brings with it a level of respect, people tend to listen to what you have to say and they tend to believe you when you tell them that things they are doing are for the best. I've had about 8 kids each day so far, which to me is a good turn out considering that the AD has done a poor job of getting my morning announcements in, that and the fact that no one really listens to the announcements anyway.
Facebook was great today, I come home to a bunch of notifications, all of which entail people's surprises about me coaching basketball ha, but like I said there, and like my highschool coach recently e-mailed me, I have an uncanny ability to rally people, and I know that with me and Coach Abel (The Head Coach) we are going to change my HS's program for the better. I may not have the credentials of Cassie yet, but soon enough I'll be just as good a coach as she is, and in a sport that I have almost no background in.
I should probably start ending these posts with Go Raiders( my high school mascot)!....but no not really, not until the season starts at least.
I thought it would be hard to get used to being called coach, but really its kinda nice. It brings with it a level of respect, people tend to listen to what you have to say and they tend to believe you when you tell them that things they are doing are for the best. I've had about 8 kids each day so far, which to me is a good turn out considering that the AD has done a poor job of getting my morning announcements in, that and the fact that no one really listens to the announcements anyway.
Facebook was great today, I come home to a bunch of notifications, all of which entail people's surprises about me coaching basketball ha, but like I said there, and like my highschool coach recently e-mailed me, I have an uncanny ability to rally people, and I know that with me and Coach Abel (The Head Coach) we are going to change my HS's program for the better. I may not have the credentials of Cassie yet, but soon enough I'll be just as good a coach as she is, and in a sport that I have almost no background in.
I should probably start ending these posts with Go Raiders( my high school mascot)!....but no not really, not until the season starts at least.
Monday, October 18, 2010
What's Wrong with Them
Hey hey,
So I'm pretty excited for this week. I start my basketball pre-season workouts, the official first workouts I get to supervise, create, and coach myself, definitely curious to see what kind of kids I'll have to work with and how they'll respond to me. Also this week, I should be getting my substitute teacher registration information back and then start subbing...that'll be nice. And Finally I'll get to carve my UM pumpkin I've wanted to carve for years now, Wednesday to be exact. 45 and I and her roomies will be having a carving party, and yes I'm excited for something like that.
This weekend was interesting, for one reason or another I did not see 45 at all, which meant it was pretty much boys weekend out. This sounds good in theory except I realized that I really don't have any boys here in Maryland, I mean the last 5 years of my life have been all Mich wingmen and let me tell you, that makes a huge difference. Here, all the guys are just trying to get their tip wet and will by no means hinder their progress to help a friend out. I mean yeah most of the time guys are out to get some and what not, but your friends are supposed to pull back and help you out when you're in need, not the case with the people I've been hanging out with here. Long story short, I get abandoned, which wouldn't be bad if I had driven or had a place to return to, but in both cases I was left without a place to crash or a way back home...so yeah not cool. Moral of the story, I need to find some actual friends again, all my old buddies from HS have moved on, which is good, and my one best friend likes to disappear days at a time and has tended to be unreliable at the best. I still have my brother but if any of you know him then you pretty much understand.
So where does this leave me? Who knows. In regards to my last post about being unsure of 45, after spending a weekend in the city and seeing what's out there, I think that I will be more than happy to stay with 45 and just keep going in the direction we're going. Outside of my own college environment, the college town and city life just aren't that appealing to me because well I have no one to share them with. I've never been the Pruitt I can go out by myself type, so without a good group of 1502 type friends to share it with there really is nothing special about living in a college town or big city. In order to counter this, I'll probably limit going out to 2 days a week, and more than likely just go out with 45 and her group of friends, who are all really nice, attractive, and have accepted me, so nothing wrong there. I suppose I was just scared of getting too close with them and not being able to explore other options, but I think I need to keep myself in perspective and focus on getting my life in the direction I want to go, running around chasing skirts is not the direction I wish to pursue....anymore.
Well I will more than likely be excited this time tomorrow as I begin my coaching career, I'll post about that later on. Good Day All.
So I'm pretty excited for this week. I start my basketball pre-season workouts, the official first workouts I get to supervise, create, and coach myself, definitely curious to see what kind of kids I'll have to work with and how they'll respond to me. Also this week, I should be getting my substitute teacher registration information back and then start subbing...that'll be nice. And Finally I'll get to carve my UM pumpkin I've wanted to carve for years now, Wednesday to be exact. 45 and I and her roomies will be having a carving party, and yes I'm excited for something like that.
This weekend was interesting, for one reason or another I did not see 45 at all, which meant it was pretty much boys weekend out. This sounds good in theory except I realized that I really don't have any boys here in Maryland, I mean the last 5 years of my life have been all Mich wingmen and let me tell you, that makes a huge difference. Here, all the guys are just trying to get their tip wet and will by no means hinder their progress to help a friend out. I mean yeah most of the time guys are out to get some and what not, but your friends are supposed to pull back and help you out when you're in need, not the case with the people I've been hanging out with here. Long story short, I get abandoned, which wouldn't be bad if I had driven or had a place to return to, but in both cases I was left without a place to crash or a way back home...so yeah not cool. Moral of the story, I need to find some actual friends again, all my old buddies from HS have moved on, which is good, and my one best friend likes to disappear days at a time and has tended to be unreliable at the best. I still have my brother but if any of you know him then you pretty much understand.
So where does this leave me? Who knows. In regards to my last post about being unsure of 45, after spending a weekend in the city and seeing what's out there, I think that I will be more than happy to stay with 45 and just keep going in the direction we're going. Outside of my own college environment, the college town and city life just aren't that appealing to me because well I have no one to share them with. I've never been the Pruitt I can go out by myself type, so without a good group of 1502 type friends to share it with there really is nothing special about living in a college town or big city. In order to counter this, I'll probably limit going out to 2 days a week, and more than likely just go out with 45 and her group of friends, who are all really nice, attractive, and have accepted me, so nothing wrong there. I suppose I was just scared of getting too close with them and not being able to explore other options, but I think I need to keep myself in perspective and focus on getting my life in the direction I want to go, running around chasing skirts is not the direction I wish to pursue....anymore.
Well I will more than likely be excited this time tomorrow as I begin my coaching career, I'll post about that later on. Good Day All.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Foreshadow
Well its been a good week since my last post, can't say that I've done much. My progress on subbing is that everything is complete and turned in, just waiting on my registration info to come back to me. My progress on coaching, I'm starting pre season workouts this week with any of the guys not doing fall sports who want to come out and get in shape. I'm actually pretty excited about this because now I'll have a reason to work out three times a week, and everyone knows that working out is much easier with a partner or when you have a purpose.
A couple of thoughts have come to mind due to dreams and other things, most of them have to due with this whole dating situation. I mean it's no mystery that I don't usually date people, mainly because the girl always ends up getting hurt for one reason or another. But this time I really figured that I would be able to manage the feelings well, which I think I have done so far. What I'm concerned about this time is me, meaning if this is really what I want, an exclusive type deal. Starting out it seemed great because, well honestly 45 was the only girl outside of my family members that I talked to or knew here, but some recent circumstances have me thinking that that will change pretty soon. My best friend has finally broken up with his girlfriend which is for better, but now my whole wingman situation has been resolved, which more than likely means that I'll be back to going out and getting into trouble.
Having my best friend back coupled with my dreams makes me feel like as soon as I start to get around more girls, I'll start having doubts about 45 and my current situation. I mean some people don't put much stock into dreams, but I have a very vivid imagination and pretty detailed dreams, and last night I had one about one of 45's best friends, and to spare you the details I'll just say that it was a pretty intense dream. What does all this mean? Nothing yet but if this was the first half of a novel about my life, I will say that a couple weeks from now we'll probably call this foreshadowing....
A couple of thoughts have come to mind due to dreams and other things, most of them have to due with this whole dating situation. I mean it's no mystery that I don't usually date people, mainly because the girl always ends up getting hurt for one reason or another. But this time I really figured that I would be able to manage the feelings well, which I think I have done so far. What I'm concerned about this time is me, meaning if this is really what I want, an exclusive type deal. Starting out it seemed great because, well honestly 45 was the only girl outside of my family members that I talked to or knew here, but some recent circumstances have me thinking that that will change pretty soon. My best friend has finally broken up with his girlfriend which is for better, but now my whole wingman situation has been resolved, which more than likely means that I'll be back to going out and getting into trouble.
Having my best friend back coupled with my dreams makes me feel like as soon as I start to get around more girls, I'll start having doubts about 45 and my current situation. I mean some people don't put much stock into dreams, but I have a very vivid imagination and pretty detailed dreams, and last night I had one about one of 45's best friends, and to spare you the details I'll just say that it was a pretty intense dream. What does all this mean? Nothing yet but if this was the first half of a novel about my life, I will say that a couple weeks from now we'll probably call this foreshadowing....
Friday, October 8, 2010
the social network: The Title Game
A pretty standard set of thursday night events, followed by a basic friday....Went out into town on Thursday Night with 45 and her friends, I got to see the really cute ones that don't make it out all that often and it turns out they are actually really fun. It was the first time that we all hung out together, usually I just see them in the background with a guy or two, kinda makes me miss having my own crew of wing men and women (Cass) around....It's like I'm pseudo living the college lifestyle as most of these friends of 45 are still in school.
In any case, people have been asking me a lot recently if 45 and I are dating, I guess it makes sense for them to ask since I'm most likely the only guy they see her with, and whenever they do see her I'm usually with her. All this talk makes me wonder what the whole deal is with titles. I mean anyone that knows me should know that I don't put a lot of stock in titles, I believe that the two people involved know the extent of their relationship and don't really need to have a neat title attached to it, but on the same note I understand the mental aspects behind having some closure over calling someone a "boyfriend" rather than just a "friend."
Of course this lead me to ask myself...are 45 and I dating...I mean I'm pretty sure at this point that would be an accurate statement. She's the only girl I'm hanging out with and having relations with, and we spend a lot of time together, we like each other. Its really not much else attached to it, sometimes I pay for her sometimes she pays for me, we share drinks and beds.
The title of the post stems in part from the facebook movie that 45 and I saw together today. It was actually one of the first sober activities we've done together in a very long time, like back since she came to visit me in Michigan. The movie was entertaining, had some comedic parts, serious parts, but all in all it did a decent job of giving people some sort of background on Zuckerburg and the starting up of facebook, I mean naturally it was a hollywood movie so they added some extra drama and flair to it, but definitely worth a look. Maybe not at full movie price, but discount tuesday, matinée, or 5 dollars definitely. Speaking of discount, today was my first day paying more than 6 dollars for a movie...I'm def gonna miss Movie Tuesdays in Ann Arbor.
A while ago I blogged about why its good to be a girl...and there was some dispute and comments, all warranted and true in their own ways, but I wanted to set a few things straight as well as comment on why it's good to be a guy, as I've noticed in 2 weeks back home. First of all, I wasn't saying that girls only get by on their looks and their bodies, also I wasn't saying that its a bad thing...All of the obvious physical set backs suck and the things women have to go through to actually be successful in the world is pretty bad...Now why it's good to be a guy.
Well for starters, by any stretch of the imagination, 45 is a lot of people. And as most people would be, its kind of disgusting. I mean everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but its not something that should bring a person pride, in my eyes. Now the fact that I'm a guy makes the whole thing almost seem not that bad at all. If I were to meet a girl, and she were in my position, I don't think I would pursue anything more than a conversation with this girl. It's a terrible double standard but definitely one that only applies to girls and not guys. I suppose that makes us lucky.
Another reason is socially acceptable clothing. We all know a gentleman or two who dresses like they don't care about what they look like, and it really does nothing to hinder that guy being successful in any aspect of what he does. For the most part, all guys are required to do is wear clean clothes and shower, and most people will treat them with some semblance of respect. In relation to girls, they almost never care about what a guy is wearing in the sense that an attractive guy will still be good looking even in some shorts and a t-shirt. For girls we require and admire them when they pay attention to details in getting ready. We want them to do their nails, their hair, wear clothing appropriate for any and every situation, we want them to be revealing but classy, we want them to be sporty and sexy...pretty much we hold their standards so high its pretty ridiculous. The standard for guys, really couldn't be any lower.
In the relationship field, guys are given so much more wiggle room then girls. Girls will stay with a guy despite him doing all sorts of hurtful and unpleasant things. I'm not necessarily talking about and definitely not advocating abusive relationships, but at some point we all have known a girl who's staying with a guy for a reason we can never figure out. Last weekend I was out with a couple and the male was on the dance floor flirting and dancing and drinking and having a good time with girls all over the bar, when I asked the female what she thought, she simply replied "its ok because I know he's coming home with me." I can honestly say that I could never sit idle and let a girl "pick up" other guys at the bar and then at the end of the night be content and say ok lets go home now. I'm all for a freebie, I don't mind when I'm out with 45 and she gets a couple of drinks for free from some guys, and really don't have a problem with it when she's with her girlfriends and doing it. Hey if guys were offering me free drinks, I would do the same thing, accept them. But the point here is that guys get a free pass to have their cake and eat it too, at least with some girls, and that is a luxury that most girls will never have.
Another obvious reason is the fact that its ok for guys to be sexual being but not for girls...A little redundant but yeah guys can think about it, talk about it, do it, and even show it without getting much flack...How often do you see guys with their shirts off without anyone thinking twice about it being appropriate or not?
Ok so this by no means is a complete list, just a few things I've noticed in my time since I've been back home. I'll talk to you guys soon.
P.S.
Go Blue.....Beat State
In any case, people have been asking me a lot recently if 45 and I are dating, I guess it makes sense for them to ask since I'm most likely the only guy they see her with, and whenever they do see her I'm usually with her. All this talk makes me wonder what the whole deal is with titles. I mean anyone that knows me should know that I don't put a lot of stock in titles, I believe that the two people involved know the extent of their relationship and don't really need to have a neat title attached to it, but on the same note I understand the mental aspects behind having some closure over calling someone a "boyfriend" rather than just a "friend."
Of course this lead me to ask myself...are 45 and I dating...I mean I'm pretty sure at this point that would be an accurate statement. She's the only girl I'm hanging out with and having relations with, and we spend a lot of time together, we like each other. Its really not much else attached to it, sometimes I pay for her sometimes she pays for me, we share drinks and beds.
The title of the post stems in part from the facebook movie that 45 and I saw together today. It was actually one of the first sober activities we've done together in a very long time, like back since she came to visit me in Michigan. The movie was entertaining, had some comedic parts, serious parts, but all in all it did a decent job of giving people some sort of background on Zuckerburg and the starting up of facebook, I mean naturally it was a hollywood movie so they added some extra drama and flair to it, but definitely worth a look. Maybe not at full movie price, but discount tuesday, matinée, or 5 dollars definitely. Speaking of discount, today was my first day paying more than 6 dollars for a movie...I'm def gonna miss Movie Tuesdays in Ann Arbor.
A while ago I blogged about why its good to be a girl...and there was some dispute and comments, all warranted and true in their own ways, but I wanted to set a few things straight as well as comment on why it's good to be a guy, as I've noticed in 2 weeks back home. First of all, I wasn't saying that girls only get by on their looks and their bodies, also I wasn't saying that its a bad thing...All of the obvious physical set backs suck and the things women have to go through to actually be successful in the world is pretty bad...Now why it's good to be a guy.
Well for starters, by any stretch of the imagination, 45 is a lot of people. And as most people would be, its kind of disgusting. I mean everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but its not something that should bring a person pride, in my eyes. Now the fact that I'm a guy makes the whole thing almost seem not that bad at all. If I were to meet a girl, and she were in my position, I don't think I would pursue anything more than a conversation with this girl. It's a terrible double standard but definitely one that only applies to girls and not guys. I suppose that makes us lucky.
Another reason is socially acceptable clothing. We all know a gentleman or two who dresses like they don't care about what they look like, and it really does nothing to hinder that guy being successful in any aspect of what he does. For the most part, all guys are required to do is wear clean clothes and shower, and most people will treat them with some semblance of respect. In relation to girls, they almost never care about what a guy is wearing in the sense that an attractive guy will still be good looking even in some shorts and a t-shirt. For girls we require and admire them when they pay attention to details in getting ready. We want them to do their nails, their hair, wear clothing appropriate for any and every situation, we want them to be revealing but classy, we want them to be sporty and sexy...pretty much we hold their standards so high its pretty ridiculous. The standard for guys, really couldn't be any lower.
In the relationship field, guys are given so much more wiggle room then girls. Girls will stay with a guy despite him doing all sorts of hurtful and unpleasant things. I'm not necessarily talking about and definitely not advocating abusive relationships, but at some point we all have known a girl who's staying with a guy for a reason we can never figure out. Last weekend I was out with a couple and the male was on the dance floor flirting and dancing and drinking and having a good time with girls all over the bar, when I asked the female what she thought, she simply replied "its ok because I know he's coming home with me." I can honestly say that I could never sit idle and let a girl "pick up" other guys at the bar and then at the end of the night be content and say ok lets go home now. I'm all for a freebie, I don't mind when I'm out with 45 and she gets a couple of drinks for free from some guys, and really don't have a problem with it when she's with her girlfriends and doing it. Hey if guys were offering me free drinks, I would do the same thing, accept them. But the point here is that guys get a free pass to have their cake and eat it too, at least with some girls, and that is a luxury that most girls will never have.
Another obvious reason is the fact that its ok for guys to be sexual being but not for girls...A little redundant but yeah guys can think about it, talk about it, do it, and even show it without getting much flack...How often do you see guys with their shirts off without anyone thinking twice about it being appropriate or not?
Ok so this by no means is a complete list, just a few things I've noticed in my time since I've been back home. I'll talk to you guys soon.
P.S.
Go Blue.....Beat State
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The Storm
Well it's been a while since I've posted...and the only real reason that happened is because I haven't really had anything of note to talk about. Some of you might know that my writing is very situational based, meaning that depending on my mood and environment I could write a book or a sentence, so in order to save just writing a couple sentences I've just waited until I had something to talk about....which I now do.
So for awhile now I've been referring to 45 as such, and up until two days ago she was unaware of the fact that she is number 45. I don't know if subconsciously I felt bad about this, especially after taking her card, but for some reason I decided to tell her best friend roommate about it. I mean I'm not much of a person to keep things to myself, especially when asked, after all I'm the first person to ask all sorts of personal questions when I meet people. So her friend Ashely approached me, at a bar of course, telling me that she was protective of 45 and wanted to make sure that the person she gave her card to was an alright individual. Ashley herself had recently given her card away so she felt some sort of personal attachment to the situation. I thought about it for like a second before I went ahead and told her what my count was, and I went through the motions of asking her "not to tell 45 about our conversation"...its the plea we've been making since middle school that almost always ends up with the person telling the person we asked not to tell and then them asking that person not to tell us that they betrayed our agreement...In any case, last night 45 flat out told me that she knew, and then her reaction was pretty much was I expected it to be....disgust.
I mean, who can blame her, here she is, an impressionable women who has been recently introduced into this world of physical activity, only to find that the person who introduced her to it was way more versed in the ways than she could have imagined. She even told me that she figured it was a "high" number, but lets be honest, very little people would dare to guess as high as the actual retail price...So what does all this mean? I have no idea. I can tell that the day she found out is when she did most of her re-evaluating and thinking and what not but at the end of the day the deed had already been done. Had I told her before my fateful return she definitely would not have given me her card, at least not nearly as easily or soon as she did, and I would have definitely thought twice or once about taking it from her.
I don't really know what this leaves me with, I'm not sad or regretful about my situation, I mean I got here on my own, took the necessary courses of actions to lead myself down this path and yet, when it seems that something of actual value or potential shows up, I appear as a different person. One thing she asked me that really stuck out.."how did you even make it happen, like how is it possible for it to be so many" Really a good question if you think about it. It required a lot of time and effort but then again not really. And to think that most of them were not one night stands, meaning that they were courses that I played at multiple times is really the astonishing part...So again, what does this mean, where does this leave me? Well for starters I don't think 45 really knows how to deal with her desire (now that she's been introduced to the drug) to keep going and her disgust at the fact that this is nothing new to me. Last night her desire won the battle, but it had the upper hand of alcohol, when I think about it, alcohol seems to be very near and dear to almost all of the interactions I have with 45...I mean she only has free time when she's not working or busy with something else, and those nights just happen to be the going out nights.
I'm thinking that maybe a sober dinner, or something should be in order, a time where we can actually express ourselves, well at least she can, there is no way for me really to make the situation any better. The facts are out on the table and I can only imagine where they will take me...
Totally unrelated...Tomorrow is my last step in the process of becoming a substitute teacher. I am going to get my finger printing done around noon and then within a week should be complete with the hiring process...Exciting, maybe, ready to start making money again, Absolutely.
Here's to the impending Storm...
So for awhile now I've been referring to 45 as such, and up until two days ago she was unaware of the fact that she is number 45. I don't know if subconsciously I felt bad about this, especially after taking her card, but for some reason I decided to tell her best friend roommate about it. I mean I'm not much of a person to keep things to myself, especially when asked, after all I'm the first person to ask all sorts of personal questions when I meet people. So her friend Ashely approached me, at a bar of course, telling me that she was protective of 45 and wanted to make sure that the person she gave her card to was an alright individual. Ashley herself had recently given her card away so she felt some sort of personal attachment to the situation. I thought about it for like a second before I went ahead and told her what my count was, and I went through the motions of asking her "not to tell 45 about our conversation"...its the plea we've been making since middle school that almost always ends up with the person telling the person we asked not to tell and then them asking that person not to tell us that they betrayed our agreement...In any case, last night 45 flat out told me that she knew, and then her reaction was pretty much was I expected it to be....disgust.
I mean, who can blame her, here she is, an impressionable women who has been recently introduced into this world of physical activity, only to find that the person who introduced her to it was way more versed in the ways than she could have imagined. She even told me that she figured it was a "high" number, but lets be honest, very little people would dare to guess as high as the actual retail price...So what does all this mean? I have no idea. I can tell that the day she found out is when she did most of her re-evaluating and thinking and what not but at the end of the day the deed had already been done. Had I told her before my fateful return she definitely would not have given me her card, at least not nearly as easily or soon as she did, and I would have definitely thought twice or once about taking it from her.
I don't really know what this leaves me with, I'm not sad or regretful about my situation, I mean I got here on my own, took the necessary courses of actions to lead myself down this path and yet, when it seems that something of actual value or potential shows up, I appear as a different person. One thing she asked me that really stuck out.."how did you even make it happen, like how is it possible for it to be so many" Really a good question if you think about it. It required a lot of time and effort but then again not really. And to think that most of them were not one night stands, meaning that they were courses that I played at multiple times is really the astonishing part...So again, what does this mean, where does this leave me? Well for starters I don't think 45 really knows how to deal with her desire (now that she's been introduced to the drug) to keep going and her disgust at the fact that this is nothing new to me. Last night her desire won the battle, but it had the upper hand of alcohol, when I think about it, alcohol seems to be very near and dear to almost all of the interactions I have with 45...I mean she only has free time when she's not working or busy with something else, and those nights just happen to be the going out nights.
I'm thinking that maybe a sober dinner, or something should be in order, a time where we can actually express ourselves, well at least she can, there is no way for me really to make the situation any better. The facts are out on the table and I can only imagine where they will take me...
Totally unrelated...Tomorrow is my last step in the process of becoming a substitute teacher. I am going to get my finger printing done around noon and then within a week should be complete with the hiring process...Exciting, maybe, ready to start making money again, Absolutely.
Here's to the impending Storm...
Saturday, October 2, 2010
"There Goes My Baby..."
Something very sad happened to me last night....I chose to witness my high school football game. You know we were never a good school in football, but at least we were competitively bad, like we would lose but the game was entertaining and we kept ourselves in it most of the time. What I saw last night was just terrible. It was like the players didn't even want to be in the game, and it showed with no fan base, parent turn out was laughable, and to call the people on the sidelines cheerleaders or dancers would be a disgrace to their names....Moral of the story, my high school is nothing of what it used to be, and that is just sad.
Besides this tragedy of a football game, my night was pretty good. Hung out with Ryan, who is dealing with his grandma recently passing. After that I hung out with 45 and her roommates, did some light drinking and had a good night.
I noticed that when you're not really doing anything, the day flies by. Like if you wake up at noon, eat once, run, shower, watch some tv, eat again, everyone comes home, you watch more tv play some video games, eat again, and then go out or go to bed...that's been my week, with some random productivity mixed in the middle...
Today I plan on setting up my "workstation" in my room, going for a run, and giving myself a haircut...which should be interesting in itself. Probably play some more video games and then relax...so yeah another pointless blog day but soon I might be inspired to write about something interesting.
Besides this tragedy of a football game, my night was pretty good. Hung out with Ryan, who is dealing with his grandma recently passing. After that I hung out with 45 and her roommates, did some light drinking and had a good night.
I noticed that when you're not really doing anything, the day flies by. Like if you wake up at noon, eat once, run, shower, watch some tv, eat again, everyone comes home, you watch more tv play some video games, eat again, and then go out or go to bed...that's been my week, with some random productivity mixed in the middle...
Today I plan on setting up my "workstation" in my room, going for a run, and giving myself a haircut...which should be interesting in itself. Probably play some more video games and then relax...so yeah another pointless blog day but soon I might be inspired to write about something interesting.
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