48 - The Au Pair

Last night for the first time in my life...I paid for sex.

Well not really, but all of signs and symptoms of someone paying for sex were present.

1.) I woke up questioning my morals

2.) After both sexual encounters (late last night and early this morning) all she wanted to do was leave.

3.) There was no pillow talk, or really any talk at all.

4.) She let me do anything I wanted, including GREEK or ANAL for those who don't know the lingo.

5.) Her name was Juliette, easily could be a hooker name (even if I like that name)

6.) She was French....well I could have been involved in some weird roll playing.

7.) She is an Au Pair, see #6

8.) She left visibly unhappy with me, not due to the sex but still wanted no part of me afterwards

9.) I found her literally minutes before last call

10.) The last thing I did was hand her some money and she walked out the house never to be seen again.

Now you see what I mean, easily could have been mistaken for a prostitute. Guess I should tell you guys the full story now.

So naturally it being memorial day weekend meant I would find another excuse to drink, not that I really need excuses anymore but you know. That coupled with the end of track season, and Stann being around for the last time all summer, I decided to play in the big leagues and get some CIROC. If you have never had it, then you NEED to try it, in my opinion the smoothest vodka out there, and no Diddy is not paying me for this. Anyways my parents decided to have a little BBQ at our house so we invited our buddies over and used the occasion as a Pre-Pre game. Fast forward a couple hours and many drinks later, I meet up with MY MAN MIKE D at Stalking Horse, a Rick's type establishment in Fed Hill, the South U of Baltimore. He's chilling with a couple buddies and some pretty cute girls so we hang for awhile. As you know, DS has likes to move around A LOT so while I intended to just do a lap and hang out with Mike some more, I never did. I found two girls on the dance floor, 1 not cute, the other alright (48). So of course with my goggles on and my inhibitions low I get right in the middle of them and start doing work. DS apparently doesn't need a wingman. Fast forward 30 minutes and I'm speaking French to the two girls and 48 is LOVING it. I mean I wish my French teachers appreciated my broken elementary level French the way 48 did. I pretty much could have had her out of her panties right there but I decided to take the walk back to Frank's house in hopes of finding a place to seal the deal. Her friend wasn't too thrilled with the idea of leaving 48 with me (seems like that worry was well placed) but I guess French girls don't like cock blocking because she left us alone anyway. After a nice walk back, we begin. It's my first time ever having sex and speaking French, plus hearing a girl moan and make sex noises in French, very sexy. At some point DS was feeling so good he even tried Anal. I failed, but I tried. Pretty much I couldn't get it all the way in and without the proper lube it was doomed to go no where so I abandoned ship. After around 20 minutes (Sorry Mike O I don't go 2 hours every time, but keep reading and you should be a little proud) I finished and she quieted down. Almost instantly she gets dressed, lights up a cig (eww) and says she wants me to take her home. I have never seen a girl get dressed so quickly so I just sat there for awhile in awe.  Naturally the LAST thing I want to do after sex is get up, much less drive some chick home, so I use the "I'm too drunk to drive" cop out, and eventually it worked. So once I convinced her to stay, I was ready for round two so I took her clothes back off and went to work. It was good getting to experiment with different positions and strokes and what not and eventually I felt like Mike O shaking the whole living room. So this second session lasted a little over an hour (if you didn't know this about me, after my first time I usually can last as long as the best of them, this was one of those occurrences). Afterwards I felt like I was having Deja Vu because she literally Ninja'd back into her clothes and wanted to leave again! I couldn't believe it, but by now she understood that I had no intention of getting up so she conceded a lot quicker, I guess she retreated but was not defeated because she apparently had a plan. Her plan was to give me three hours of sleep, and then PESTER me until I woke up and agreed to drive her home. This is where she got angry because as I soon found out, the nearest car was a couple miles away ha. She we had pregamed at a house on the other side of town compared to where we were, and thus the cars were left there. She was angry at this point but still manageable. I told her I would walk and pick the car up, then come get her and take her home (which I kinda intended to do). The only issue was that I had 4 friends with me already, and they had to be back uptown to Towson pretty early. So moral of the story, I left her alone in this strange house for an hour, came back and told her to get a cab because I couldn't take her home. At this point she was furious and had no more words for me, well not in English anyway, so I gave her a couple of bucks for Cab fare and started my car ride home.

I have to say I wasn't the nicest to her, as I COULD have taken her home if I really wanted to. BUT she was being a female dog all morning so by then I just wanted her to disappear and she did, literally within seconds of when she left the house there was no trace of her. Needless to say this will be my second official one night stand and I WILL NOT be facebooking her.

 The sex was great though, I'm pretty proud of myself.

"Safe sex is Great Sex"

P.S. Congrats to Flint Michigan, #1 Dangerous City in the US

Congrats to Detroit Michigan, # 2 Most Dangerous

And Congrats Baltimore Maryland, #7.