The Storm

Well it's been a while since I've posted...and the only real reason that happened is because I haven't really had anything of note to talk about. Some of you might know that my writing is very situational based, meaning that depending on my mood and environment I could write a book or a sentence, so in order to save just writing a couple sentences I've just waited until I had something to talk about....which I now do.

So for awhile now I've been referring to 45 as such, and up until two days ago she was unaware of the fact that she is number 45. I don't know if subconsciously I felt bad about this, especially after taking her card, but for some reason I decided to tell her best friend roommate about it. I mean I'm not much of a person to keep things to myself, especially when asked, after all I'm the first person to ask all sorts of personal questions when I meet people. So her friend Ashely approached me, at a bar of course, telling me that she was protective of 45 and wanted to make sure that the person she gave her card to was an alright individual. Ashley herself had recently given her card away so she felt some sort of personal attachment to the situation. I thought about it for like a second before I went ahead and told her what my count was, and I went through the motions of asking her "not to tell 45 about our conversation"...its the plea we've been making since middle school that almost always ends up with the person telling the person we asked not to tell and then them asking that person not to tell us that they betrayed our agreement...In any case, last night 45 flat out told me that she knew, and then her reaction was pretty much was I expected it to be....disgust.

I mean, who can blame her, here she is, an impressionable women who has been recently introduced into this world of physical activity, only to find that the person who introduced her to it was way more versed in the ways than she could have imagined. She even told me that she figured it was a "high" number, but lets be honest, very little people would dare to guess as high as the actual retail price...So what does all this mean? I have no idea. I can tell that the day she found out is when she did most of her re-evaluating and thinking and what not but at the end of the day the deed had already been done. Had I told her before my fateful return she definitely would not have given me her card, at least not nearly as easily or soon as she did, and I would have definitely thought twice or once about taking it from her.

I don't really know what this leaves me with, I'm not sad or regretful about my situation, I mean I got here on my own, took the necessary courses of actions to lead myself down this path and yet, when it seems that something of actual value or potential shows up, I appear as a different person. One thing she asked me that really stuck out.."how did you even make it happen, like how is it possible for it to be so many" Really a good question if you think about it. It required a lot of time and effort but then again not really. And to think that most of them were not one night stands, meaning that they were courses that I played at multiple times is really the astonishing part...So again, what does this mean, where does this leave me? Well for starters I don't think 45 really knows how to deal with her desire (now that she's been introduced to the drug) to keep going and her disgust at the fact that this is nothing new to me. Last night her desire won the battle, but it had the upper hand of alcohol, when I think about it, alcohol seems to be very near and dear to almost all of the interactions I have with 45...I mean she only has free time when she's not working or busy with something else, and those nights just happen to be the going out nights.

I'm thinking that maybe a sober dinner, or something should be in order, a time where we can actually express ourselves, well at least she can, there is no way for me really to make the situation any better. The facts are out on the table and I can only imagine where they will take me...


Totally unrelated...Tomorrow is my last step in the process of becoming a substitute teacher. I am going to get my finger printing done around noon and then within a week should be complete with the hiring process...Exciting, maybe, ready to start making money again, Absolutely.

Here's to the impending Storm...